Musings of a Content Father

[bkdelong]

I've got a few fleeting moments of quietude as I allow my dear wife some quiet.....reading time before I troll up to bed stompedly and demand cessation of all lighted objects.

I had a wonderful day with the Little Man. We all had a rough night sleeping wise and he's been coming into bed the last few nights for some reason or another. He does this sort of inconsistent 360 rotation that includes occasional flailing and well-placed kicks to the head.

Lucky for me (though not Kirky) I had taken today off to spend with him. We try not to send him to the daycare provider more than 2 days a week through the last several months Kirky has been taking the 3rd day with him and I have claimed busyness at work - I'm a bit of a control freak and now that a majority of my job is managing relationships, I take said management very seriously. Our new SVP of Research Allan Carey is quite accomplished and I have no doubt as to his skills - it's me, really.

So Will and I slept another hour this AM and wandered downstairs to watch a few Curious Georges and get cleaned up. Today I was taking him to "The Lake" at Harold Parker State Forest. It's a huge forest but Berry Lake is this wonderful recreation area with a covered pavilion with several picnic tables and charcoal grills scattered throughout. The beach is decent-sized maybe about 300-400 feet from end to end.

For Father's Day this year, Will and I went for a drive not quite sure where I was going. At the last minute (literally, as in I was about to pass the exit), I decided to go to Hampton Beach where we waded in some of the tidal pools. Because of the water temperature we could do no more then spend a few minutes chasing the small waves as they barreled onto shore due to the cold. Let's face it - anyone who knows me knows my reaction to temperature extremes and the sense of touch (or, in different terms, a complete lack of pain tolerance).

But he and I had such a wonderful time that I wanted to see if I could find a place closeby with an inland beach. My in-laws used to live in Putnam, Connecticut and had something very similar to Berry Lake near their place and I loved it. A few weeks back I decided to take Will to the lake and it was a rousing success. I got there about 11am and we left about 12:30 but it seemed like we spent so much time in the water.

I haven't been swimming all that much since I graduated high school - and I was a lifeguard, swim instructor and at Boy Scout Camp, did a few stints working the Waterfront. But I love the water - I don't know why I didn't seek it out sooner. I think part of it is my extreme reaction and lethargy in heat and the other part is being such a big guy, water displacement certainly makes me a heck of a lot more lithe - as evidenced by feeling like a giant sea monster when I finally stand up in the water and lumber towards shore with liquid pouring out of my shorts, pockets and the shirt I wear.

When at the beach, I scuttle along the shore on my hands and toes as Will goes in and out of the water. Today it took him a little longer than normal to get him in and wet but we had a good time trying to go after the Bluegill and Pumpkinseed scattered about with a bath-toy net. Hey- it moves fast in the water, it was my idea!

I hadn't really realized how much of a social butterfly he is - though a quiet one at that. We obviously were sharing water-space with a few day camps and when a younger group came by with some mothers , he went up and introduced himself, got a bit chatty with some of the kids and politely asked if he could play with some toys.

Towards the end of the morning, he went over and was "adopted" by one of the older boys at the day camp. A large group of the kids had made what looked like a giant sand basin that they filled with water and Will wanted to play. The older boy kept referring to Will as the baby and a little girl tried to play "peekaboo" with him. Part of me rolled my eyes as he is a very competent 3 year old and such things seemed babyish. But later one of the counselors (high school/ early college) came and asked how old he was. She referred to him as "brave" for coming right up and playing with the big kids.

He's just so comfortable...I laid in the water at the shore's edge very bemused as I watched him interact with the group as a whole and this particular boy. He seems so confident though polite and quiet. I think a lot of that is his mother as well as spending two days a week with his grandmother. I got a little jealous too though as we were supposed to be spending the day together - but his socialization is important and nothing going on was a bad influence.

This was a welcome respite from the day-to-day as I've been struggling since I came back from the BlackHat and DEFCON security conferences in Vegas. I can handle the work-related interaction and being staff at the latter event. But socially, I hadn't seen a lot of these people in person in 5 years...and for the first time in a long time, I chose to go out to the bars and dancing with some of these folks.

Stack this on top of an incredibly emotional, wonderful few days spent with those I met through my journey in the Harry Potter Fandom and a gorgeous B&B nestled deep at a vineyard in the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia and there's been this malaise about. Kirky remarked that going on vacation should prepare me to go back to work - but it's quite the opposite. I find myself wistfully longing for closer in-person "IRL" friends to drink wine with, chat, or have a few White Russians at a bar with and then go out clubbing.

Of course, I think for the latter bit it had something to do with spending a few days in Vegas so there was a bit of acclimation. Not sure if I could go out clubbing and then seamlessly slide back into awakeful dadhood without repercussions. Even now I'm fighting a cold that's been a lingering sore throat with some minor PND...but if I let my guard down, it's going to smack me upside the body hard.

There are some other major revelations that came out of Vegas, but I'll save those for private posts. Next week will be....interesting. My niece AND nephew will be down and my mother-in-law watching all 3 kids for the whole week (my nephew originally had other plans but they've been changed). And they're not quite as ....laid back as Will is. I'm torn between making myself scarce in the evenings with various outings to keep my anxiety and temper in check vs being there to help my wife and what will be a very tired mother-in-law.

I think we'll hit the lake again this weekend before the familial onslaught.

Comments

[ivy]

Glad you had a good day at the lake -- it sounds wonderful! I've been to Hampton Beach (I worked there for a summer), but not to your local lake. Cool.

[harpnfiddle.livejournal.com]

Didn't see this on my "Friends" page. Will sounds a lot like you at that age - you always wanted to play with the older kids - you found them much more interesting than kids your own age.