bkdelong: (Default)
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Yes, I think I would eliminate the concept of Valentine's Day if only I could supplant it with the concept that a single, commercialized holiday should not be the only day out of the year to let your best friends, family and lovers know how extra-special you feel about them. They should know this through regular communication and unexpected surprises throughout the year - even if you pick some other random day or two annually to do something out-of-the-ordinary that shows forward-thinking, careful thought, sentimentality, and how much you care.

All Valentine's Day does (besides boost the revenues of the candy, greeting card, and floral industries) is not only set unrealistic expectations for relationships but it also often brings them out into the light if one partner does not get what they were expecting. It also takes those not in a relationship and perpetuates a set of ideals that aren't necessarily healthy when looking for a sustainable long-term relationship.

Being an emotionally-intuitive person who relies heavily on observation of interaction, semantics, body-language, facial-expression and action you can truly learn a lot by watching what is being said vs what someone's facial expression and body language is saying as well as what they end up doing. You learn a lot about what someone really wants verses what they claim is acceptable.

(Unfortunately, this doesn't always work for me personally as part of the challenge with having strong empathy is it clouds logic and reason so when it comes to something personal, I lose my own abilities to parse...working on that.)

That being said, I've always made an effort when a friend is lonely, depressed, having relationship challenges, struggles seeking someone out or just wants to vent a bit - to be there to listen, to hold space, to siphon off the burden of negative energy that is consuming a bit of their soul and their being so they can feel a little more weightless and a little more functional.

I think when not engaged in my own activities, Valentine's Day seems as good a day as any to make an extra effort - if you want to chat, message me on Livejournal/Facebook, the myriad of IM services listed in my profile, email or SMS via my cell. Let me know if you'd like to talk voice - that's limited during day hours and somewhat in the evening.

I don't have any special training I'm not a psychologist or have any experience as a mediator. I don't claim to be better than anyone else at anything but I seem to have a bit of a knack for fostering a safe environment for allowing people to open up and purge a bit of what's eating them up. If I can do that, why not.

Happy Valentine's Day - let's change the meaning of this sterile, day of consumerism and get a little healthy healing on.
bkdelong: (Default)
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I'd say the Moller Skycar because then I'd no longer have to say the cliche'd "Where's my flying car?". He's been working on models for years and all have seemed fairly functional - waiting for an X-Prize to beat him out.

In reality, I'd like to have one of the new prototype cars coming out this or next year making use of GPS + Speed for Vehicle to Vehicle communication (V2V) to help people stop faster when there's an accident or problem car two to three cars ahead you can't see until too late.

I know the car industry hope to make such a feature standard and build in privacy controls much like the wireless device industry has WRT being able to locate and identify/find you.
bkdelong: (drwho laidback)
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Times change, people change. I'd ask some careful, polite questions of how they are and how their life is going and most likely let them know in my responses that the past is the past. THEY may recall the bullying and either feel remorseful or still antagonistic about it.
Depending on their approach will color the tone of my speech but not the general language - we've both grown up, I've moved onto other things and am better for it.
bkdelong: (Default)
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I'd definitely suffer a degree of withdrawal. Plus I sit in front of a computer all day working on it so while I could take a week's vacation, I wouldn't necessarily want to do so without some access to Net or a mobile for looking up dinner places, dinner plans etc. So I'd probably want to be compensated for a week worth of work pay.
bkdelong: (Default)
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Listen to either NPR or a Book on CD. Depending on my interest with either and the amount of traffic, I construct a series of waypoints in my head and sort of watch the field of cars before me with an imaginary "Heads-Up Display". Then I end up calculating which lane I should be in to avoid slowing down, getting stuck behind someone slower than I am, or to get moving faster than I am presently.

I have always had a very nonlinear way of dealing with math and logic but having the background "noise" to focus the language center of my brain seems to kick-in the inateness of the logic portion. I don't "think" about it, I just "see" the various permutations based on drivers' speed, movements back and forth (if they're doing their own lane switching) and their own relationships with the cars around them. It's fascinating and fun though easier to do by myself and far moreseo sans kids.
bkdelong: (angrybear)
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Never been the target as far as I can recall. I've certainly been flamed in my early days - some of it quite warranted for being a newbie and I learned from that. But some of it quite unnecessary and I (or others) stood up against it. That doesn't mean I wasn't shocked or hurt - I take things quite personally. I may have lashed out angrily or withdrew completely depending on what happened. As my ability to process and respond matured, I would internalize that more in the physical reality and my "virtual-world" responses would be a little more "thought out" and emotionally composed often backed with citation and fact to bolster whatever argument I was oft defending.

I have run across a few people over the years in my direct social circle who have been cyberstalked/cyberbullied and having the experience of building large-scale publicity campaigns and doing online image consulting at one time or another throughout my career has give me some skills to help combat these psychological attacks. The challenge is when they then bleed over to the physical environment when I am not present to help or defend the person and only my advice works. In that case, I usually recommend building a cadre of allies first online and then hopefully that too will bolster into the physical environment where any such "attacks" on character (mentally/physically/emotionally) are occurring. The key there is to be careful in responding, giving further ammo for the bullies to hurl back and work on building up defenses based on fact. Never hurts to do your research and see if their own background provides insight into the bullying - especially "dirt" that might show them to be hypocritical in their arguments.

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bkdelong

February 2011

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