bkdelong: (love)
I am a hapless romantic - as I am known to channel many different aspects of personality, there is a chivalrous part of me that cares about letting each person know in my life how I feel about them on a semi-regular basis.

I'm not the best at it and I tried to make up for it publicly in the annual Confessionals thread that goes around Livejournal.

Let me know if you are doing Valentinr by posting your 100x100 widget in the comments and I would be happy to respond, or send one to me and in the 6hrs or so left, I will do my best to respond in kind.

My Valentinr - bkdelong
Get your own valentinr
bkdelong: (Default)
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Yes, I think I would eliminate the concept of Valentine's Day if only I could supplant it with the concept that a single, commercialized holiday should not be the only day out of the year to let your best friends, family and lovers know how extra-special you feel about them. They should know this through regular communication and unexpected surprises throughout the year - even if you pick some other random day or two annually to do something out-of-the-ordinary that shows forward-thinking, careful thought, sentimentality, and how much you care.

All Valentine's Day does (besides boost the revenues of the candy, greeting card, and floral industries) is not only set unrealistic expectations for relationships but it also often brings them out into the light if one partner does not get what they were expecting. It also takes those not in a relationship and perpetuates a set of ideals that aren't necessarily healthy when looking for a sustainable long-term relationship.

Being an emotionally-intuitive person who relies heavily on observation of interaction, semantics, body-language, facial-expression and action you can truly learn a lot by watching what is being said vs what someone's facial expression and body language is saying as well as what they end up doing. You learn a lot about what someone really wants verses what they claim is acceptable.

(Unfortunately, this doesn't always work for me personally as part of the challenge with having strong empathy is it clouds logic and reason so when it comes to something personal, I lose my own abilities to parse...working on that.)

That being said, I've always made an effort when a friend is lonely, depressed, having relationship challenges, struggles seeking someone out or just wants to vent a bit - to be there to listen, to hold space, to siphon off the burden of negative energy that is consuming a bit of their soul and their being so they can feel a little more weightless and a little more functional.

I think when not engaged in my own activities, Valentine's Day seems as good a day as any to make an extra effort - if you want to chat, message me on Livejournal/Facebook, the myriad of IM services listed in my profile, email or SMS via my cell. Let me know if you'd like to talk voice - that's limited during day hours and somewhat in the evening.

I don't have any special training I'm not a psychologist or have any experience as a mediator. I don't claim to be better than anyone else at anything but I seem to have a bit of a knack for fostering a safe environment for allowing people to open up and purge a bit of what's eating them up. If I can do that, why not.

Happy Valentine's Day - let's change the meaning of this sterile, day of consumerism and get a little healthy healing on.
bkdelong: (love)
I did this last year and I'll do it again. This year I'm doing more preemptive reciprocity and giving friends and those dear to me their own Valentinr notes where I see them.

So however you feel, even if it's just an elementary school Batman & Robin "I'm glad you're my partner in crimefighting", (yes, yes...oh the double-entendres), feel free to pass one my way and I will do the same if I see it.

Egotistical? Attention-seeking? Perhaps. But in soliciting I also find out if you have one as well and I like giving back more than I receive.

So an early Happy Valentine's Day to you:

My Valentinr - bkdelong
Get your own valentinr
bkdelong: (bearhug)
I rarely do memes (if anything, this is a mememe) but the thought of getting Valentines brought me back to grade school, the taste of chalky Necco hearts, the sting of papercuts from getting all those Thundercats or Superfriends or Transformers cards in tiny, near-translucent envelopes for everyone in class, and the cute machinations of the romantic, cootie-phobic Elementarians such that they were.

So imagine (if you will) that this is my shoe-box with a hole cut crudely in the top and some fancy (by which I mean scrawly and chicken scratchesque) Crayola marker scribblings in which to put a Valentine.

And to you, I wish the same!

My Valentinr - bkdelong
Get your own valentinr
bkdelong: (Default)
This is really sad that I have to resort to this. I want to do longer blog posts but I just spent the last few hours polishing up a report for work on Non-Compliance Exceptions Management....

So here's a brief summary of my awesome weekend:


  • Friday
  • Valentine's Lunch at "Top of the Hub" with [livejournal.com profile] kiekre where I proposed 11 years ago that night. Gift was a copy of "The Saint" the movie we saw next door after dinner the same night.

  • Birthday "Friday the 13th" party celebrating [livejournal.com profile] joyeous. Parking Fail. Parking Win. Several "Treehouse of Horrors", Beginning of really, really, bad 80s "Return of the Living Dead". Delicious Chocolate Banana Cake she made herself. (Note to self- get recipe. No one makes their own cake on their birthday.)

  • Surprise invite by [livejournal.com profile] hahathor and [livejournal.com profile] eclecticavatar to see "Chocolate" at the Somerville Theatre. OMG most awesome movie ever. Not to mention most lame single-line review ever - see what I mean about needing more time to really write good reviews? See this movie. It rocks!!!

  • Saturday

  • Sleeping in and a specially-made dinner & dessert - my Valentine's gift.

  • Cleaning the house, doing the laundry, washing dishes, cleaning the kitchen, collecting the trash, doing laundry.

  • Sunday

  • Out of sorts day...got up early and did weekly D&D run with [livejournal.com profile] wkdelong and had mini "Phineus & Ferb" marathon.

  • Tried to focus on work paper I just finished minutes ago.



  • Monday/Tuesday

  • Blurring together so far.

  • Meeting group of like-minded parents (slowly) as a result of a uh Valentine's Social Function. REALLY excited.

  • Finding a lot of my friends are down and need to talk - feeling really good about hopefully helping them through it, listening and talking with them.

  • Had [livejournal.com profile] ahf and [livejournal.com profile] caulay over for dinner! OK, so it was takeout but they managed to survive two kids, right before bed time, then bed time and then even stayed to chat! Socialization is beautiful thing.



Tomorrow is BeanSec but I've got kid duty. Really want to go given the announcement of net Forensics acquisition of High Tower assets and Trustwave acquisition of Mirage NAC technology. Anyone about to babysit an 11mo old and a 5yr old? ;) Nah, daddy's turn. Mom gets to go out to dinner.

Friday there may be some socializing before my brother arrives Fri night or Sat to work on our Eastern MA Data Center (e.g. the DNS, Web and Email servers in my son's bedroom closet including a presently non-working Ubuntu storage server.) And of course, Auntie and Uncle time with W and C and [livejournal.com profile] harpnfiddle is even coming up!
bkdelong: (Default)
I've had such a rollercoaster week. I'll post soon about my awesome time last night and tomorrow about this evening with my dear sweet one. But everyone loves to have the little shoe box for little cards from friends and their anonymous admirers.

My Valentinr - bkdelong
Get your own valentinr

Won't You Be Mine?

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bkdelong: (Default)
bkdelong

February 2011

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